Love

I ran today for the first time in 10 days.

My God I thought, life is beautiful.

The sun rising warmly over the rice terraces, casting a golden yellow glow as sweet as honey upon the rusted cast iron fence and hand carved stone edifice of the Hindu Temple.

Into the Mangrove forest, along a deserted stone pathway, crossing cattle, coconut lined dirt roads, and palm trees… So many long, tall, fluffy palm tress.

Then up the hill, past a waterfall.

FriendsHidden treasures I call them, and I pack them away into my “bag.”

I save them for a later time when a day is long or hard or life seems a little too monotonous.

Covers off, parting the lipstick red mosquito nets that drape my bamboo bed, my footsteps are silenced by the sound of waves beating the black sand beaches of Balian bay.

And the children sleep, lulled by the cool air, the ocean and the humm of the room fan perched besides their beds.

Today, we had a great day.

We bid farewell to small friends with Australian accents, little brown nosed dogs and a broomstick prince.

I took one last swim, returned the rental surfboard and greeted the warm toothless smile of the old, wrinkled Balinese women who took my $20 dollars for the 5 day board rental.

One final eggs on toast with homemade apple jam, fresh fruit and background music which reminded me I am indeed middle age.

This is living, this is what it means to breath I think, and now I type, sipping lightly sweetened, packaged Nescafe, my distorted reflection on the shiny silver tea pot and the warm Balinese air.

Tonight, everything seems just right!

I am not a psychiatrist or an expert on parenting, if I was maybe I wouldn’t be writing this post.

Hell, if I was I probably wouldn’t have quit my job and bought tickets halfway around the world.

But, I have been traveling 6 weeks now with my wife and 2 small children taking on roadschooling, sharing often small rooms and small beds in confined places and traveling through some difficult to negotiate places.

I have been learning to manage a fledgling online business with spotty internet and very limited connections.

Almost every day I bookmark something that I will turn to as a highlight in my book of life. Everyday our learning and life experience grows exponentially.

My children have been asked to break out of every comfortable routine they have ever had, my wife and I have had to learn to work as a strong and unified team, we have all had to learn to work together.

Rooming together has had its ups and downs. It has led to some real memorable bedtime talks as a family that I will never forget, also it has led to children rolling off beds, legs on our heads, long periods of involuntary abstinence and difficult evenings when everybody is tired (most notably the two times after we had 23 hour flights!)

Many parenting books talk about giving children space to vent and cool off if they are overtired and are throwing a fit. This is not so hard when you are in the comfort of your home, in a hotel at 11pm when everyone is sleeping or in a long line after 2 hours of sitting in customs this can be very challenging.

I wrote both my parents the other day describing some of the difficulties we have experienced over the last two weeks:

  • Our six year olds resistance to homeschooling.
  • Some truly epic meltdowns when everyone is overtired, hungry or thirsty.
  • Homesickness

There were several times in the past 2 weeks that I was ready to throw in the proverbial towel and just book a flight home already. Family travel is great when everyone is happy, but when people are overtired, overheated and in search of a good meal things can go sour pretty fast.

My mom, a schoolteacher of 30 years, who raised my sister and I, is the epitome of zen in the face of a childhood meltdown.

She had this to say:

I really found this to be true in dealing with children. They don’t know what is wrong or have the skills to cope so they act out. Many adults have the same lack of skills!

She hit the nail on the head on this one!

Sometimes in the middle of a truly wonderful day one of our children will act out over what seems to be the tiniest things.

This has been amplified over the last 2 weeks.

It can present as rudeness, a lack of empathy, bickering, complaining etc. etc.

I believe it all has a common core, one that requires we as parents to react with love, empathy and a calm demeanor.

Beyond the culture, beyond the animals, beyond the unique smells, new foods and amazing people there is something else that can grow out of family travel.

A strong family: 

  • One that treats each other and everyone around them with respect
  • A family that reacts with kindness and love in all situations
  • A family that has a desire to understand and identify with the struggles of others
  • A family that respects one another
  • That embraces lifelong learning

These things, which I thought were simple and obvious become more difficult when we are stressed.

Travel does create stress, which can lead to cracks in your armor. It has exposed many of my own, and I believe at the end of the year it will be this mission, this goal to become a stronger more loving and generous family that will be our greatest reward as well as our greatest challenge!