About Stephen

To teach our children the meaning of gratitude, to grow as a family through love, adventure, service community and of course travel.

One year together on the road, traveling in a small car or crowded public transport, 24/7 with your kids, staying in tiny rooms, sharing beds…

Does this sound like a dream come true?

If not, then don’t start planing your family gap year adventure just yet.

Three months into our trip, we have definitely started to work better as a family. That being said, we have had our ups and downs.

And as much as I like to paint a picture of happy times and endless fun and adventure, this is impossible. Whether at home or on an around the world adventure with your family not every moment can be picture perfect.

Several weeks ago, I noticed we were having more petty arguments. This culminated in an outpouring of blame and resentment that left all parties feeling hurt, misunderstood and unappreciated.

So how do we eliminate anger, fighting and hurt feelings while growing stronger as a family?

7 Guidelines for Eliminating “The Same Old Fights”

I have copied these 7 guidelines from a book I have been reading by Wayne Dyer:  [easyazon_link asin=”0380730472″ locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”gapyearfamily-20″ add_to_cart=”no” cloaking=”default” localization=”default” popups=”default”]What Do You Really Want for Your Children?[/easyazon_link]

I have taken time the last week to implement these principles.

  • What if you eliminate anger from your life?
  • From your children’s life?

1. Virtually all fights revolve around the absurd thought, “If only you were more like me, then I wouldn’t have to be upset.”

This is an erroneous assumption about the people in your world. People—including your spouse, your children, your parents, or anyone else—will never be the way you want them to be. When you find yourself upset with someone else, you are really saying to yourself, “If only you were thinking the way I am thinking right now, then I wouldn’t have to be so upset.” Or “Why can’t you do things the way I want them to be done?” Once you eliminate this notion that others ought to be the way you want them to be, and you accept them (not approve, simply accept) for what they are, then you will not be able to be seduced into fighting with them. Why would you ever fight someone for being what you would expect him or her to be? People are not going to be different simply because you would like it to be that way. If you curtail your expectations for others, and stop evaluating your own personal happiness on the basis of what others are doing, thinking, saying, or feeling, then you will find it almost impossible to fight with anyone. While you may want to put a stop to anyone stepping on you, and teach your children to do the same, you will find it unnecessary to get upset just because other people choose to be the way they are.

2. You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.

You must teach this basic lesson to your children and accept it yourself as a guiding principle. Your willingness to participate in family fights comes from within you. You have other choices, and you must stop blaming others for the way you get treated and instead look within. Your children must also learn that the way they get treated by everyone is a result of what they are willing to tolerate. If you feel that people dump on you, and treat you in an inconsiderate manner, rather than blaming them, you might ask yourself, “How did I teach them to treat me in this manner?” Instead of being mad at others for the way they behave toward you, remind yourself that if you do not want to be victimized, then you must stop playing victim. Resolve to stop sending signals which teach others to treat you in a way that you must resolve by fighting.

3. Behavior, rather than words, is the greatest teacher of all.

You can talk until you are blue in the face, and you generally will get nothing accomplished except to be upset and further frustrated. If you want to teach someone in your family to put her clothes away, devise behavioral rather than verbal cues. Once you have discussed the matter, and you have discovered that your words are ineffective, then practice new methods. Toss the clothes next to the washing machine, leave them lying where they were dropped, or simply stop washing clothes that are not in the hamper. Do anything but have another long discussion about learning responsibility, which either gets ignored immediately or results in another family fight. Behavior, not words! You can stop conversation after the evidence is in that the child is not listening, and then resolve to teach with actions. Once you teach someone with behavior that you will not tolerate being abused, you will see the abusive behavior subside. But if you continue to talk about it endlessly, you will not only keep having the same old fights, but you will be teaching children that they can talk or argue their way out of being responsible. You want children to learn no-limit behaviors, rather than how to avoid being a responsible person. Your behavior is the most effective teaching technique you have.

4. People are more important than things.

If you keep this principle in mind, you will end a lot of the same old fights, since so many of them revolve around objects and money. No thing in this world is more important than a person. When you fight about furniture, drapes, cars, money, clothes, dishes, garbage, and so on, you are elevating those things to positions of prominence over people. No “thing” is worth fighting about. People’s happiness is what living is all about. When you see the emphasis being shifted to things, and the result being that people are becoming unhappy, you can resolve to not let this happen. Stop yourself when this things-over-people mentality crops up. If others want to do it, fine—you will not be able to stop them by fighting about it. But you can refuse to allow any thing in this world to be the source of your own unhappiness, and when you model this attitude for your family members, you will find them getting the message as well. Imagine yourself screaming at a little child for scratching an object. Imagine the foolishness of becoming irrational over a lost toy. Think about the absurdity of beating your child over a torn piece of fabric. These are things. They can be replaced. But a child’s inner pain, his realization that his feelings are less important than a toy, his own lack of integrity at being treated lower than an object—these cannot be replaced quite so neatly as a lost toy. People count; things do not! Do not be surprised if your little ones start beating up on each other if they are recipients of such behavior themselves. As I noted earlier, physically abused children almost always treat their children (and other people as well) abusively, particularly when the abuse they received was the result of making things and objects more important than human beings. While you do not have to endorse destructive behavior, you also do not have to become immobilized when you find others treating objects in ways that you do not like. Keep in mind that the only thing that matters in life is life itself. You cannot get love from a thing. You cannot caress an object and get anything in return. And while you want to enjoy things, and to teach respect for nice things, remember that objects are valueless without people to give them meaning.

5. Perhaps the most neurotic pursuit of all is the desire to have those who love you understand you all the time.

You, once again, are unique in all the world. What that means is that no one could possibly understand you all the time, because to do so would mean that the other person would have to become you. When you find people not understanding you, instead of senselessly chasing after “being understood,” you are much better off to say to yourself, “They don’t understand me and they probably never will, and that’s okay since it really doesn’t reflect anything about me.” Once you stop expecting people to understand you all the time, then you will be purchasing a ticket to the sidelines when the same old fights begin to surface. The greatest understanding that you can have is that you do not understand each other, and that it is all right. Children live in their own worlds. They occupy their own unique bodies. They live in a space far different from yours. You cannot understand why they do the crazy things they do—and, believe it or not, they see you as “weirder” than you see them. Accepting the fact that you do not understand each other is a great place to start in building a fight-free environment. Let them be unique instead of like you. Allow them to be “weird,” rather than struggling every day with trying to understand and be understood. Why would anyone who is unique in all the world expect someone else who is equally unique to understand her all the time? And why should you have to surrender your uniqueness by demanding to be understood, simply because you are the parent or spouse? Once you accept the fact that you will never be understood all the time then you will also stop all of the hurt that goes with the insane demand for mutual understanding on every issue in life. More than half of the fights which center on the notion that “You don’t understand me” will disappear. You will be teaching children to stop trying to be understood all the time themselves, and to get on with understanding themselves, which is enough of a life’s mission all by itself.

6. Self-confident people seldom participate in the same old fights.

When you are at peace with yourself and you love your self, it is virtually impossible for you to do things to yourself that are destructive. You want to treat the people you love with love, not hate, and you must be one of those people that you love, and that goes double for your children. I have devoted all of Chapter 2 to discussing the importance of a child learning to love himself. Having fights is a sure way to reduce that self-love. Why would someone who loves himself do anything to hurt the self he loves? Fighting is destructive and hurtful. If you think of yourself as an important person, you will not allow yourself to become overweight, addicted to foreign substances, plagued with guilt or worry, or wracked with the pain of regular fighting. Self-love means treating oneself lovingly. If you show others that you love yourself, and that as a result you are going to treat yourself with respect, you will find that they will not be surprised when you simply refuse to go along with their attempts to lure you into fighting. They will soon realize that you think too much of yourself to be filling your precious life moments with agony as a result of fighting, when it is simply a waste of time and the only payoff is distress. Show your children that you respect yourself too much to be reduced to screaming, fighting, or even rage. You will be giving them an important message about yourself, as well as giving them an example to live by: an example of a peaceful person rather than someone who can be bought and sold emotionally by the whims and inconsideration of others.

7. All participation in family fights is a choice.

No one can make you fight if you refuse to go along. When you are embroiled in the same old fight, you must remember that you put yourself there, and that you have the ability to avoid this stressful activity. It is very, very difficult to fight with a rational person. By staying rational you reduce the opportunity for fighting, and consequently for being upset as well. When you find yourself in a fight and you dislike being there, remember the message that you are modeling for your children: “You don’t have control over yourself.” They will learn this neurotic message. They will simply blame someone else for starting a fight because they have parents who also believe the same nonsense. If you practice maintaining your composure, and remember that someone else’s behavior belongs to that person and cannot upset you unless you allow it to do so, then you will not become an unwilling target. When your “opponents” see that you are plainly uninterested in joining them in their neurotic pursuit of fighting, and that you refuse to choose an upsetting experience, then you will be out of the fight game with all of these sparring mates in your life. Everything is a choice, and avoiding senseless fights is an excellent thing to practice if you want more serenity for yourself.

Start Today

If you genuinely want to eliminate the fight scene in your home, you must come to a decision yourself. Yes, yourself!

It does not involve waiting for the children to change.

It does not mean waiting for your spouse to come around to your point of view.

It means making a decision that fighting is going to be a thing of the past. It means making a vow that you are not going to continue to raise your children in an atmosphere of violence, be it verbal or physical violence.

It means committing yourself to giving your children the opportunity to be free from anger and rage, from the sores that ultimately infect them from overexposure to fighting and war.

We landed in Auckland after 31 days of travel in Bali and a bit of a Visa mishap.

Excited to escape the heat and set foot on New Zealand for the very first time, Auckland proved sublime!

After 24 hours we were ready to call it our new home.

What to do in Auckland with Kids

1. Kelly Tarlton’s Sea Life Aquarium

Kelly Tarlton’s rocks!

It was my daughters 7’th birthday and when we gave her the list of available activities in Auckland this was her very first pick, and the best part? Admission free on your birthday! We applauded our daughters fine decision making.

Once you pay the entry fee (you can get 10% off in any of the city brochures so pick one up) you are welcomed into a world of rotating ice then a display of penguins that blew my mind.

I must preface this by saying I was a Zoology major in college and have been traveling with two small children for some time so I consider myself an aficionado… These penguins were something else.

Photos will not do these penguins justice so you will just have to believe me and when you are in Auckland go see them for yourself.

After the penguins you will enter a world of big tanks, big fish, a circular underwater “people moving” observatory (similar to what they now have in San Francisco) and a great place to grab some grub which overlooks Auckland City at sea level.

All of this adds up to make Kelly Tarlton’s a must do activity in my list of things to do with kids in Auckland.

2. Take a Ferry Ride

There are two main ferry rides in Auckland that people will recommend for day trips. (see timetable)

  1. Devonport
  2. Waiheke

After discussing our sailing options with a friendly local at the ferry terminal the night before we chose Devonport for its small size and cheaper price.  Also, I heard it was the hometown of New Zealand born Lorde, both my daughter and I thought this was cool because we like to rock out to “Royals”.

Devonport is everything the brochures say it i:  It is quaint, has some nice shops, a fun playground next to the ferry terminal for the kids and a nice short hike up Mt. Victoria (that the kids complained about) where we “ice skated”,  rested and ate some lunch.

3. The Auckland Museum

We did go to the Auckland Museum and it does have a great kids section on the bottom floor where there are tons of hands on specimens for the kids to get excited about. The Mauri exhibits and the volcanic displays were amazing.

The Museum resides in a picture perfect park, that is great for a picnic lunch, we even took a short hike through the gardens.

I am not sold that this is a “must see” in Auckland, and after having been to Te Papa in Wellington, the Auckland museum isn’t nearly as kid friendly. That being said, if it is a rainy day and you are looking for a fairly inexpensive indoor activity that is educational with your kids, the museum should be on the top of your list.

4. Walk the City

Auckalnd is a great city just to be in. It has a fun vibe, lots of activity and great street musicians. People are friendly and you can walk kitty-corner across very busy streets, very cool!

A walk down Queen Street is worth it at any time of day or night, veer left to explore the University and nearby park, veer right and explore more shops, hip restaurants, and Auckland’s music and theater scene.

Not too loud, not too quite, very clean and full of activity, Auckland is just a great city to be in! Our kids thought so too.

A Note on The “Seattle Like” Sky Tower

Since I lived in Seattle and have spent way too much money at least twice to go up the Space Needle we did not pay to take a ride up the Auckland Sky Tower. But, we did enjoy the sunset view from the base, the purple lights and a tramp around the Sky Tower Mall.

I am sure it is a great view from up top, but it is expensive and I think your kids will probably forget about it after a couple of days.

Where to Stay in Auckland

City Oaks Serviced Apartments

There are probably as many accommodations in Auckland as there are itineraries, but my wife found a self catering apartment complex right downtown that was spectacular.

It was less than $120 NZ per night for a 2 bedroom complex with laundry, free WiFi, a full kitchen and downtown location. We booked early and got a great deal through Agoda. so start there.

Wellington New Zealand is a wonderful place for kids.

Why?

Because it has more free activities than any other place in New Zealand!

I would liken Wellington to the Washington DC of New Zealand, for its abundance of free museums that are spectacular for kids.

It is also easily navigated by foot (or in our case “scooterable”) which makes it a fun city to explore.

What to do in Wellington with Kids

1. Te Papa

Every guide-book says it, and I didn’t really believe that it could be that great after going to the Auckland Museum and being a bit disappointed. But Te Papa, as its name would suggest, is the granddaddy of all museums.

Every floor is designed to be a treasure trove for kids, walk about 5 minutes and you will come across a kids activity center. Go to the art gallery and they even have a special super sleuth game designed to get your kids excited  about art.

Kids naturally want to learn and it does my heart well to see a museum designed to build upon this innate love for learning.

If Te Papa is the only thing you do in New Zealand with your family  you won’t be missing much as it truly is spectacular.

2. The Cable Car

The following day after we visited Te Papa we went back into town to find the cable car and visit the botanical gardens.

We were met by  70 mph winds and some rain, but surprisingly our kids didn’t seem to mind.

We found the cable car entrance (thank you trusty Google Maps) and we took the cable car up for about $13 US. The best part is, you can get a one way ticket and walk, or again in our case scooter, all the way back down to the start.

The gardens are free and there is an amazing playground with a flying fox. Takes about 30-45 minutes to make it down the back of the mountain and the trail ends right back in the city where you started.

This was a half day adventure in my book (at least when it is windy and rainy) but it was a lot of fun and totally worth the effort.

3. Mount Victoria Lookout

We didn’t mean to go the lookout, our car just headed up there while discovering the city and driving the coastal route.

The road is awesome, straight up the mountain and narrow with two-way traffic! You will wonder several times if you are going the right way but this is what makes it fun.

The view from the top on a sunny day is amazing and is worth the drive up. Our kids liked it, we drove down and then followed this up with a trip to Te Papa to make a day out of it.

4. The Weta

The Weta Workshop was another accidental find, somewhere in our readings I heard that Peter Jackson had a production company in Wellington where they did the special effects for the Lord of the Rings. As a movie and effects buff this sounded like fun for the entire family.

Once again, I heard the workshop was FREE,  I couldn’t believe it so I had to see it.

We took a half day before the cable car ride to go to the Weta Workshop. They showed a 30 minute feature film showing how they do movie effects, it was gross and a bit violent, the kids loved it. Then we paid the $40 to take the 45 minute workshop tour.

They have the real props from some of the best movies of all time, your tour guide will be one of the Weta artists and after you leave you will be thinking about a change of professions.

It was super cool, and super fun, and I would do it again.

The best part: The Hobbit Trolls!

Where to Stay With Kids in Wellington

We stayed in the Wellington Top 10 Holiday Park outside of the city, it wasn’t bad, but if I were to do it again I would recommend staying in the city if you can.

The kitchen cabin in the Top 10 was lackluster (despite an awesome jumping pillow) and it looked a bit like a prison cell.  I thought it was a bit overpriced at $120 NZ per night. That being said, most Wellington accommodations will be in th range of $160 for families.

Lonely Planet Travel with Children recommend The Carillon which is about  this price range, looks nice if it is within your budget.

Raglan Family Travel Quick Tips:

Stay at Raglan Kopua Holiday Park or Solscape (tepee themed rooms), rent a board from The Raglan Surf Emporium (very nice guys), get free WiFi from the quaint local library and grab some food from the local bakeries.

The surf spot is about a 10 minute drive up the road, just enter “Manu Bay” into Google Maps and it will take you there.  There is a beginners spot on the drive to Manu Bay that is good for those looking to learn on the whitewater but not much else.

The two surf spots just past Manu Bay are for advanced surfers only. The surf works best at medium tide and has a very strong rip at low tide.

Raglan with Kids

Raglan New Zealand is a wonderfully cute and hospitable town perfect for families with small children.

We went there for Manu Bay and to find (and hopefully surf) the longest left hand break in the world.

What we found was a wonderful holiday park, with a skate park, playground and a short walk to the postcard-perfect city.

We hired a surfboard for about $19 US per day and hit the surf.

We stayed in Raglan for 3 nights but wanted to stay for 3 weeks.

Mid-week in the off-season we had the place to ourselves. We were there for the Labor Day Weekend so it was amazing to watch how this changed in the matter of a couple hours.

We stayed at the Raglan Kopua Holiday Park which is just perfect for kids.

Other accommodation options (especially if you are looking to surf) is Solscape.

They have Tepee rooms and train themed accommodations which would probably make this a big win for families and kids, but it is a car ride away from the city.

That being said, I think the skate park and running space of the Kiwi Park still makes this a better choice for families with children.

Make sure to stop by the local library, grab a brew from any of the pubs, hit the second-hand stores for some extra bedding and just walk around.

You will love Raglan and it is one of our best stops so far.

I am writing this post because safari’s in South Africa are a big reason most people go to South Africa and this was a huge source of confusion for us while planning our trip.

Adding two small children to the mix makes this seem even more difficult as many safari’s will not take children younger than 6, sometimes older, on safari tours.

I am going to simplify this for you.

Booking a safari in South Africa with kids is not nearly as confusing as it may seem.

Self Drive Addo Elephant Park

There are two types of safari’s in South Africa:

  1. Those offered by private game reserves
  2. Game reserves that are owned and operated by the National Park System.

They are both on large areas of land that are usually surrounded by an electric fence.

The private game reserves are of varying sizes and the Nationally owned parks like Kruger or Hluhluwe-iMolozi are huge land masses.

Most National South African game reserves offer you the option of paying an admission (entrance) fee and then simply self driving the game reserve in your private vehicle.

Contrary to popular belief you do not have to have a big car to self-drive a safari, we did it in a Chevy Spark.

If you want there are various companies that you can pay to take you on a “safari drive” through the National Park. This is advantageous as the guides are experts at spotting game and  are very knowledgeable.

The important thing to note is that not all private companies offering tours on the National game reserves will take small children, but this does not mean that small children cannot enter the park, as I mentioned above you can self drive the park just fine.

You will still see a lot of animals on a self drive adventure through the park, and you can save a lot of money by doing this on your own.

A budget safari, therefore, would involve a paid entrance fee into one of the public National Game Reserves and a self drive tour in your own vehicle. 

The four big parks on a drive up the coast of S. Africa (in this order) are Addo Elephant National Park , Hluhluwe-iMolozi National Park the much less publicized St. Lucia wetland park  and the very famous Kruger

Kruger park is not a Malaria free park and thus more difficult with small children who cannot take malaria prophylaxis.

You do not need to pay a lot of money for accommodations in the park!

Avoca River CabinsThis was a huge source of confusion for us.

Often, when you visit the park websites, read information on a particular safari, or read Lonely Planet for that matter, they all make it sound like the only way to visit a park is to stay at the park. But this is not the case.

I will say it again for emphasis: You do not have to stay on the park to do a Safari at the park! All of these parks have lovely accommodations very nearby that are cheap, easy to book on the off-season, close to the park and have tons of amenities. This is my favorite.

You can read about more where we stayed on my posts covering Hluhluwe-iMolozi Park, the Addo Elephant Park and the St. Lucia iSimangaliso Wetland Parka. These were all wonderful safari’s that were cheap and had well priced accommodations outside of the game reserves.

Private Game Reserves that Take Small Children

There are so many private game reserves and most are quite expensive.

That being said, we did find one private game reserve (Schotia Safari’s) that is very close to The Addo Elephant park that takes small children, has a wonderful family friendly atmosphere and promises you will see the big cats. They have a great half day Safari that we would have done had we not been rained out.

Summary and Recommendations for Budget Safari’s with Kids

Here are some summary points if you are trying to plan your family safari trip to South Africa. 

  • You don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy an African safari with your family, although a lot of the advertising and literature will make it seem that way.
  • There are two type of game reserves, private and National game reserves, if you want to save money go for the public National game reserves.
  • If you are driving up the coast go to Addo Elephant Park for sure, you can self drive this, just go to the entrance and drive in through the gate. If you are continuing up the coast I would recommend staying in St. Lucia to see the hippos and then self drive or book a tour from St. Lucia with Heritage Tours to the Hluhluwe-iMolozi Park.  While you are there in St. Lucia book a day to self drive iSimangaliso Wetland Park and drive down to the beach.
  • You do not need to stay at a hotel on any of the National game parks. Book outside the park to save money.
  • Avoid the private game reserves as they are very expensive (unless you are independently wealthy then have at it). If you do chose a private game reserve I would choose the very family and kid friendly Schotia Safari’s.

You can do all of this for very little money, it will give your kids (and you) a wonderful safari experience and if you make it out of bed early enough you might even see some lions.

I have no affiliation with any of these game parks, but I do believe this is a good summary of recommendations for most families with small children. If you have any recommendations please leave a comment down below.

Happy travels!

– Stephen

View Google Map stay at Stokkiesdraai (good budget accommodation)

St. Lucia beaches headstandIf you’re wondering if St Lucia is worth the stop over,  don’t think twice.

It’s South Africa’s first national heritage site for the wetlands,  the best viewing site for hippo’s in the world, it sports an amazing wildlife and wetland sanctuary that rivals all other S. Africa safari parks, has beaches, snorkeling and a quaint downtown. Next to Cape Town, St. Lucia was my favorite stop on our South African adventure.

St. Lucia is a great jumping off point and home-base for a safari at Hluhluww-iMolozi Park, a self drive or tour through iSimangalizo Wetland park to see spectacular wildlife and even a snorkeling trip on the far north end of the park.

Beach and leopards in one day, is it too good to be true?

It might be, because you will have to get up pretty early if you want to see any of the big cats.

St Lucia is s a quaint tourist town with ample B&B’s, self catering apartments and backpacker lodges.  They also have plenty of shops, and local art to buy.

Supposedly the hippos roam the streets of St. Lucia at night although as the designated night hippo watch person I have yet to see one.   We have 3 nights left here so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

We booked with Heritage Tours and Safaris for both the wetland Hippo boat tour and the safari through Hluhluww-iMolozi Park.

Heritage Tours is a good company, with a  wonderful website and knowledgeable guides.

I was a bit disappointed though that through all my emails and phone calls stressing about booking our Safari they failed to mention we could easily book all our tours in their main office right in the middle of St Lucia.  This of course,  is what I would recommend you do.

If you do chose to book online be forewarned that Heritage Tours has a stiff cancellation policy and quite a complicated email system for booking their tours.   They would not allow me to book over the phone with a credit card, so as I mentioned above, simply wait until you arrive in St. Lucia to book  your tours.

As the sun sets out our window, St. Lucia offers a beautiful African sunset.  So nice to be here in person and not looking at it in a magazine.

A note on eating with small children in St. Lucia

There are several restaurants on the main strip that offer free childcare and playgrounds within the restaurant to entertain your children while you sip wine and plan the next day.

These are all over Africa so keep your eyes peeled. The kids love it and it is a great way to relax and unwind for everyone. They will even paint their faces for FREE!

 

I woke up today with the sound of the running river and the birds chirping.

It’s Sunday, or at least I think it is.

The gift of “losing time” is spectacular. It took me two months to get lost, I am finding it difficult to imagine the idea of going back.

Kids never know what day it is, even before we started the trip, on weekends our daughter would ask “is it a school day”, and then she would ask me the same question 2-3 more times throughout the day.

Now I ask the same question, and yes, sometimes more than once.

The ancients and the beginning of time

One of the blessings of global travel is the chance to step back into history.

When I was at the UBUD Readers and Writers Festival I spent 4 days immersed in Aussie, New Zealand and Indonesian history. I even went to see several documentaries, one of these was about the first nomadic population of humans to enter Australia. Now of course we refer to them as Aborigines.

This group of clandestine travelers were the first ever to cross from land over water without any notion of a land mass on the other side.

But as luck would have it, there was, and it was Australia.

Thinking about what Australia must have been like prior to human inhabitants is fascinating, not to mention what it must of have been like to encounter giant birds, huge car size lizards, and curious hopping two-legged creatures.

These nomads lived a lifestyle that we in the modern age have been trying hard to replicate. Not the cold climate, lack of clothing, food and shelter. I will take 2014 thank you very much, but the timelessness, the community and the idea of freedom.

Modernity is not always prosperity

Sitting here riverside, in the middle of the Northern Island of NZ in the town of Paihia, I have time to take a deep breath, step away from the crowds and markets of Kuta Beach in Bali, and remember what it feels like to be timeless.

Not timeless in the sense of “I am not going to die”, but timeless in the sense of “What day is it”?

Time tracking helps us to make appointments and to create a sense of organization around life, but the constant organization, alarms, appointments, meetings, calendars it is not my idea of freedom.

Is it anybody’s?

In 2014 it is a  luxury to be timeless, which is interesting, since almost everything we do, invent and purchase is marketed as a means to give us more time.

And although we have it, we don’t have the luxury to lose track of it, which begs the question, is modernity really the truest path to prosperity.

Our favorite kid and family friendly Budget Accommodations in South Africa

Our South Africa itinerary consisted of 11 stops:

Cape Town → Hermanus  → Oudtshoorn →  Wilderness  → Plettenberg Bay  → Jeffrey’s Bay  → Addo Elephant Park → Chinsta → Coffee bay  → St. LuciaDurban

Hermanus

We stayed at the Hermanus Esplanade which was a good deal. At $55 US per night, we were given an entire fisherman’s cottage for our family.

Kind of dangerous but cool!We had a nice refrigerator, stove, family room and two bathrooms.

What we didn’t have was wi-fi or a swimming pool. Not biggies but the backpackers hostel may be worth the look and it seems to me it may be just a bit better for families.

Our kids had a special hideout upstairs as well which allowed them to sleep in and us parents to have a private room downstairs. The only downside is we are here in August and there is no heat whatsoever, it was quite cold in the evenings.  We improvised by firing up the hot plate and using it as a radiant heater, which I must say didn’t work that badly – just don’t tell the owners.

Oudtshoorn

The main house at Karoo SoulKaroo Soul – We stayed in the family “cottage” for US $60 per night. Nice and close to town, with a full kitchen and private bathroom.

This was a bit more than we wanted to spend for 3 nights but definitely comfortable and the staff was super friendly. On the plus side, we received discounts to activities probably worth about $20 on the first day alone.

Wilderness

??????????????Wilderness Beach House Backpackers – This place is so fun and friendly, the views are spectacular, it’s close to the beach and the owner of this lodge will make you feel right at home. It is cold in the winter and they don’t have heat, so be warned. You may want to ask for extra blankets.

Plettenberg Bay

welcome2-676x450Swallow’s Nest: We ended up at a B&B operated by a Dutch couple and their son. We talked them down to 700 Rand a night for a really nice 2 bedroom cottage overlooking the entire bay. They had a good internet connection a small pool (that was too cold for the kids unfortunately) and the best part… The most amazing breakfast I have ever had.

Honestly I would probably recommend the beachside backpackers just because their location is a bit better and it is probably a bit more budget-friendly for families but this breakfast was so good I may actually consider going back someday for that alone.

Jeffrey’s Bay

Friendly FunStay at Cristal Cove

For around $65 a night we had our own family apartment complete with two bedrooms, two baths, balcony with a view to the ocean, full kitchen, living room, TV, consistent WiFi, beer bottle candles, a friendly cat, a lively bar downstairs, a pool table, tennis courts a block away, a playground a block away, great people to talk to and to round it off, Supertubes right outside our bedroom window

Addo Elephant Park

Avoca River CabinsThe Avoca river cabins are about 15 minutes away from the Elephant Park. Hands down this is the very best place we have stayed in all of south Africa (and that is saying a lot!).

  • Free kayaks for use on the river
  • Amazing river front cabins with a heater during the winter months!
  • A beautiful pool with a slide
  • A full kitchen
  • Two playgrounds each equipped with a ground level trampoline, zipline, tire swing and a jungle gym.
  • Less than $65 US per night!

Let me say it one more time as well to make sure you get this down. There is a free and amazing kid size zipline! So cool.

Breakfast was 5 dollars for adults and free for children, and because the property is on an orange orchard you can help yourself to all the oranges you would like. Because of this we ate oranges and drank freshly squeezed orange juice for 3 days straight!

Durban is an interesting stop in South Africa, my overall feeling is that it was a lot of fun, but finding our bearings was a bit complicated.

Lonely Planet describes Durban as the ultimate family playland, I am not sure I would go this far, but it can be a good place for families.

For little kids the biggest barrier to travel in Durban is the distance between attractions. Durban has a wonderful beachfront to stroll. But it is a long stroll that can be tiring for little legs, so just keep this in mind.

On Sunday it is party time and the main beachfront promenade is packed, you will see lots of families.

You can rent bikes and bicycle  from one end to the next, you can rent skateboards, and body boards. They have a great skate park loaded with small children learning to roller skate and skateboard.

Things to do in Durban with Kids

Go to the Moses Mabhida Stadium

The Moses Mabhida Stadium at Durban Beachfront was the home to the 2010 World Cup Cup. It is beautiful and you can take a funicular up to the top with your entire family for about 15 dollars. Kids under 6 ride free and the view and the ride up will entertain kids and adults alike.

The entrance to the funicular is not obvious, so when you get there ask and somebody will point you in the right direction. You can rent bicycles and get a bite to eat all within the vicinity of the funicular entrance. They even offer very cheap Segway rides, your kids must be 12 and older.

On the front facing side is a playground that our kids enjoyed.

The Waterpark and Aquarium

ImportantTHE WATERPARK IS CLOSED MONDAY AND TUESDAY 

This was a huge surprise. The tickets for the family for a combo ticket which included both the aquarium and the waterpark were very reasonable. We luckily were able to wait until Wednesday and we had an amazing day.

We started with a seal show (kind of lame but the kids liked it) followed by an amazing dolphin show and underwater aquarium.

From there we went across the way and spent the afternoon in the waterpark. Our 4 and 6 year olds were able to ride almost all the slides and they had a blast!

Rent a bicycle:

Bicycle hire is not only popular but a great way to get from one end to the other in a fun way. We rented two tandems for about $18 US for an hour. The kids whined a bit at first but ended up having a great time while mom and dad peddled them around upwind!

Go to the free waterpark slide on the waterfront:

This is a free waterpark with a big 2 sided waterslide that your kids will love. You can’t miss it when you are walking but if driving it is beachside from the ride park. Our kids made this a 2 day adventure and they had loads of good cheap fun!

Where to Stay in Durban With Kids

Thre Cities Riverside Durban

If you can, I would recommend skipping the hotel in Durban and stay instead at Umhlanga Rocks.

We ended up staying at the Three Cities Riverfront Hotel

Accommodations in Durban were frustrating and expensive. We ended up at a hotel, which although it was probably one of our more expensive stops was a letdown compared to our “self catering” accommodations in South Africa.

I wish I could be more help here. If you have kids, ideally you would stay on the Durban beachfront, but this is very pricey.

We spent one night on the Bluffs, which was too far off the beaten path and then up the road from the beachfront which was not ideal, but OK. Check the prices and try to find a beachfront property. Lonely Planet was little help and the backpackers hostels were not ideal for families.

What to eat in Durban

Eating Bunny Chow in Durban

Eat some Bunny Chow, because this is where it was made famous. This is also a good place to get great tasting Indian food.

A note on surfing the Durban beachfront

The surf is kind of messy but could be fun.  Surprisingly renting a surfboard in Durban is extremely difficult. After asking around,  jogging and biking the entire beachfront I found one place to rent a board and it is a newer surf shop right next to the water-park and marine world.  Why no one rents boards along the way is beyond me and it is a real shame.

The surf is tide dependent, which makes this challenging. Again, as a solo traveler my day depended on what I was feeling at any given moment. With kids, if the surf is up but if kids are going down, renting a board and getting out on the surf and back to your hotel room can be difficult. Especially if you are not right across from the beach, which in Durban will cost you the shirt off your back.

The beachfront from end to end is protected by a “shark repelling net”, at least that is what the surf shop told me. A grizzly old South African told me if you want to go surf with sharks surf Durban, according to the locals this was not true. I don’t know, seemed safe enough to me.

When it comes to finding the perfect place in Bali for kids, snorkeling, beach and relaxation, it is hard to beat the Amertha Bali Villas  and Pemuteran.

When I think of Bali, I will probably think of Pemuteran.

These were words I did not expect to say as Pemuteran was not on our agenda when we landed in Bali.

Coming from Balian Beach and seeking a place to do some offshore snorkeling with the kids we came across Pemuteran in a guidebook.

What makes Pemuteran unique is the fact that you can have some amazing snorkeling right offshore, this is rare in Bali.

Pemuteran has no surf, the waters are calm and deep blue, the beach is black, but has soft lacy sand.

The reef is being regenerated by a unique process using electrical current. Because of this the previously dead reef has come back in record time and if you go you will see what I am talking about.

Pemuteran is said to have 80% of the different types of the worlds coral all in one postcard perfect place.

Pemuteran for Kids

The key to getting kids in the water to snorkel is being close to home. You can’t get closer than Pemuteran.  If you stay on the beach you can literally walk out your door and jump right into some world class snorkeling.

Most hotels rent snorkel gear, there is a turtle conservatory on the beach, there are PVC floats to rest on the water if kids (or adults) get tired, there is no surf and calm clear water.

We brought our kids’ life jackets and their own snorkel gear, which was well worth the effort of lugging them around for the year. The snorkel gear has been invaluable and with the lifevest’s they were able to enjoy the process.

Where to stay in Pemuteran with Kids

As I mentioned above the Amertha Bali Villas were heaven on earth. Although we were housed near the entrance in a group arrangement, we ended up pretty much having our own pool, with a pool slide, a shared outdoor kitchen a wonderful sitting area and lots of frogs for the kids.

You walk one way and you get the beach, you walk 3 minutes the other way and you are on the main drag. This is a real advantage when you are toting around little ones.

Breakfast was heavenly, we ate right on the beach and although our accommodations set us back at almost $100 per night, we stayed within budget, as the huge breakfast and plentetude of free daytime activities meant we had very little extra out of pocket expenses.

Babysitting in Bali

This is the first time we used a babysitter on our trip and the hotel provided us with 2, smiling and energetic Balinese girls,   to care for your 2 kids – They didn’t speak a lick of Englis,h but the kids didn’t seem to care a bit. The  cost was $4 US per hour.

We took a 6-hour boat trip to snorkel Menjangan Island, a famous diving and snorkeling spot, which is a short boat ride away.

I think our kids watched TV with the sitters for the majority of that time, although  they were too guilt ridden to say.

But by the end both parents and kids were extremely happy.

Final thoughts

I have yet to see Pemuteran on any “classic” Bali itinerary. Thank God because once people find out about this place the prices and the tranquil beauty will be long gong.

Pemuteran is an ideal spot for families and even more so if you are looking for a wonderful place to snorkel right off shore.

Pemuteran is quiet, so it is definitely worth it to make this your hotel splurge.

If you stay a the Amertha Bali Villas your mouth will drop, and although it may seem like more money at first, being on the beach, having snorkeling right at your doorstep, along with villas with private pools, kitchens, and  a breakfast you can stretch to well past lunch. You may save money in the end like we did if your budget is around $100-$150 per day.

As I said call and negotiate. We were quoted 3X the amount we ended up paying for a room. When we said that it was way out of our budget they said well “what is your budget”.. Ask in the off season and you will be amazed at what you can find!